2003- I had no idea that when I made the decision to have a breast augmentation done in late 2003 that it was going to change the course of my health and life forever. Up until then I had always been relatively healthy. Aside from some seasonal allergies that I sought treatment for twice a year, I was not taking any medications on a regular basis. My medical history included some disc issues in my upper and lower back as a result of a car accident I had sustained, so on occasion I would need to seek medical care if my back “went out.” Other than this my medical history was significant for only one surgery, a partial hysterectomy for which I had undergone earlier in 2003 as a result of some female complications. I was feeling healthy, happy and I was enjoying my life, family and career very much.
Call it "VANITY," but I had always said I was going to “get my body back” after having my children. I was very young when I gave birth. Marrying shortly out of high school I had two great kids by the time I was twenty-two. It just didn’t matter how many sit-ups I did my little tummy pouch just wouldn't go away. I had also decided on breast feeding both of my children, but this wonderful, adoring, un-regretable gesture had left me with a bit of asymmetry and lost volume. I decided I would schedule an appointment with a reputable Plastic Surgeon (PS) and have a consult.
After some more research and a few discussions, I decided I was going to do liposuction around my lower abdomen and have a breast augmentation done, in a sub-glandular position, using the new“SAFER” Saline filled, textured implants made by McGhan. It was explained to me that if the implants ruptured my body would just absorb the saline solution making them a safer choice compared to the silicone gel implants, and the risks associated with their ruptures. I was also told that the textured outer shell was designed to prevent a common implant problem called, Capsular Contracture. Although it is a normal healing process for scar tissue to form around foreign objects or materials placed in the body, scar tissue can tighten and form abnormally around breast implants causing them to hurt, look unnatural, hard, and sometimes even rupture. With this in mind, Textured Saline Implants sounded like the best option for me.
2004- I was very happy with my results. I looked like I had regained ten years of my youth back. At this point in my life I had been divorced and was now remarried, I had college behind me, and I was in full swing with my career as a Pharmaceutical Sales Representative. I was excited about my decision. It was a new beginning for me. I was pleased that I had gone and done something for just myself. It was, well you could say, kind of liberating. At thirty-eight, I felt curvy and beautiful. A huge confidence booster since enduring my partial hysterectomy earlier that year.
It wasn’t until about six months later that I began to notice some changes in my health. My once seasonal allergies around the Spring and Fall were now bothering me through the summertime as well. My breathing had became more difficult. Instead of just heavy exercise inducing some Asthma symptoms, I started to have breathing difficulties from easy things like carrying bags or even walking. I even noticed that if I laughed too hard I would start to cough and wheeze. There was a heaviness in my chest. I soon began keeping my emergency inhaler with me at all times. I thought to myself, well it sucks getting older.
It was during this time my husband had been deployed overseas to Kosovo. I was feeling a bit of anxiety and noticed some ongoing depression in myself. With a BS degree in Applied Psychology and a family history of depression I knew that what I was feeling was not normal. But like so many other physical symptoms, I just reasoned it away and chalked it off as being lonely and worried about my husband being overseas. I had to also consider the fact that I had undergone a partial hysterectomy and things just may be changing? Although when my doctor checked, my blood work & hormone levels were normal. My husband returned in the fall of 2004, and even with his safe return my anxiety and depression continued and somewhat worsened. So, after talking this over with my Primary Care provider (PCP) we began to consider adding an antidepressant. It was also at this time we noticed that my allergies were now persisting even into the winter. So, I scheduled allergy testing, which did find some increased sensitivities so I decided to begin immunotherapy shots in December.
2005- It was difficult to know if it was the allergy shots making me feel so terrible or if something else was the cause of it. My arms did swell up and hurt for days after each shot, and overall I felt as though I had the symptoms of a persistent flu. I continually felt tired and ached all over my body. Which of course made me feel frustrated and even more depressed! I had worries that I may not be able to keep up with the demands of my family and my career. Although It was tuff calling into work ill, there were times I needed to be honest. I just couldn’t find the energy or peace of mind to make it out of bed. During 2005 I sustained three severe allergic reactions upon receiving allergy shots. By January of 2006, I was done. Even if I had to be on allergy medications year round for the rest of my life that was better than what I was enduring. I hoped that by discontinuing my immunology shots that I would begin to feel better. The flu symptoms would go away. But they didn't.
2006- I couldn’t tell if the look on my PCP's face was one of bewilderment or if she just thought she was looking at a crazy patient! I was trying to describe to her a new symptom I was having, “these sharp, painful, zapping sensations that would shoot up my fingers to my elbow” I would try and explain. It was also happening at random times in my toes when I was walking. At one point I actually went to Urgent Care because I thought I had broken my toe! The only way I can describe the sensation is to compare it to when you hit your funny bone. Except it is shooting up the foot or the arm in the opposite way! Along with this terrible sensation, I noticed that my strength was also decreasing. I loved to garden, but keeping up with the flowers became more of a chore to me now than a hobby. It was also affecting how I could ride my motorcycle. The pain and weakness in my hands and arms was now making it difficult to even pull in the clutch or the brake. What is happening to me I wondered? My husband was beginning to show concern now too.
The entire year of 2006 I struggled to cope. I was tired all the time, trying to get a good night sleep was nearly impossible. The pain in my hips and legs would keep me tossing and turning all night. My husband and I even purchased an expensive memory foam mattress to minimize any pressure points, but still it was a challenge to fall asleep and stay asleep. My overall body ached all the time. The flu like symptoms persisted along with the increase of the weird zapping sensations. All while my overall strength was decreasing. I was frustrated, felt hopeless, and even distraught that I was not going to be able to hide this from the outside world much longer. I was use to putting on a “happy face” in my job. Even when I didn't feel like it, but every new or increased symptom was now becoming more and more impossible for me to hide. Back to my PCP I went for her help...
2007- My Doctor ran several blood tests again. But, just like before they came up as being inconclusive for any "KNOWN" illness or showed just a few abnormalities. By August of 2007 my symptoms had hit an all time high. She decided to refer me to a Rheumatologist who then gave me the "ambiguous diagnosis (DX) of Fibromyalgia" and wanted me to follow-up with a Psychiatrist for the ongoing depression and anxiety I was having ("Well of course I am depressed and anxious, I’M TIRED, I HURT and I have STRANGE symptoms all the time!" I screamed to myself!) I went to see a Psychiatrist that I knew was really good. What a blessing she was. Finally, a doctor was listening and could see the physical and mental pain I was in. Together we decided I would take a medical leave, and follow-up on some other medical referrals I had been given in order to figure things out. I went through Electromyography (EMG) to rule out (r/o) Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, I had a brain MRI to r/o Multiple Sclerosis, and a work-up by Urology for some increased stress incontinence I was now having. Together we decided I would use eight weeks of my short-term leave to just sleep, regroup, and let the new antidepressant do its job. I did actually begin to feel better! I noticed that the high dose of Cymbalta was starting to take the edge off of my nerve symptoms and overall pain. That in and of itself made me feel less depressed ("Call me CRAZY. I don’t care what you think!" I thought at this point). Still, no one really seemed to understand what I was going through. I felt as though the medication was helping me to "DEAL" with my symptoms, but I could feel there was something far worse going on inside me.
2008- I hung in there until mid 2008. Although my pain level was somewhat controlled or should I say tolerable with a high dose of Cymbalta, I was still having the bilateral hand/foot pain, tingling and numbness. I had difficulty sleeping, and also noticed a persistent back and left hip pain. Because of my job I was traveling many miles, so I again reasoned with myself that this must be the cause, but it was the other symptoms I was having that just seemed weird. Now, I had another one to add to the “STRANGE” list! My forehead and scalp would tingle, but always in the same places. I would swear there was a big bug crawling on my head or in my hair. I would reach up several times to make sure there wasn’t anything there, and of course there wasn’t.
My PCP decided to once again run blood work. This time it showed an elevated Sed-rate, elevated CRP, abnormal immunoglobulin-IgM, and increased WBC. She reluctantly referred me to Neurology, who then referred me over to Hematology, and then I was sent back over to Rheumatology! I was beginning to feel like no one was ever going to be able to figure things out.
My symptoms now included:
- Chronic Fatigue
- Heart Palpitations
- Night sweats
- Myalgia pain
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Allergies
- Gastric Reflux
- Asthma
- Bilateral limb numbness tingling and pain
- Leg cramps
- Tingling Scalp Hair
- loss
- Vertigo
- Brain fog
- Memory difficulties
- Eye sensitivities
2009-2010- I finished a physical therapy program in early 2009 with a Physiatry Dr.and physical therapy specialist. I was hoping that with stretch and strength training my body would become stronger, and it may begin to help with some of the pain and fatigue I was having. I did feel a bit stronger but by April, with my husband in tow, I was back in my PCP office in complete tears. I begged her to run blood work again for the increased pain I was in, and demanded this time she put me on “SOMETHING” for inflammation. I had all over swelling, severe pain everywhere, and I was incredibly tired. She reluctantly added Prednisone for the inflammation, but only if I would f/u with the Rheumatologist again. I agreed. About a week later she called me to tell me she had finally figured it out. Really?!! “Chris, I believe you have Polymyositis” She explained. She also thanked me for being so persistent with her. I am sure at this point she realized she wasn't dealing with a "CRAZY" person after all. Polymyositis, I had never heard of this before. She went on to explain it was an autoimmune disease where the body attacks and destroys its muscle tissue. My CPK was over 3000 (normal range 22 – 198 U/L), and I was to see another Rheumatologist for an emergency appointment in the morning. Finally, I had an answer. So I thought. I felt such relief as I shared this with my husband. I remember saying to him, "See, I'm not making this up!”
The next day I learned that there was no cure for Polymyositis, only medications to control and treat the symptoms. I was already on Prednisone, which had begun to help with the pain after about a week and a half. I accepted this and somehow felt validated for all I had been through. I then decided to research and find a Rheumatologist that I felt comfortable with for the long hall. I chose one that was about an hour and a half away from my home. I had learned the importance of finding a Doctor that I felt comfortable with, one who would "listen" and "cared" for me. I was put on an immune suppressant drug called Methotrexate, along with folic acid to minimize its side effects. I wasn't happy with liver function tests every three months, but hey, I was beginning to feel better. I was also able to taper off of the Prednisone by adding Vicodin only when needed for pain. Aside from a few occasional flares, I felt as though I was finally being treated with the right medications and my symptoms were now somewhat, managable. I was sleeping well with the addition of Lunesta, I had little depression or anxiety on the Cympablta, and my pain was what I would call, under control. The symptoms of allergies and asthma were also being managed. Even though I was now on medication for them year round. "Down the hatch" I would say. Not only do I sell drugs, I am a walking billboard too!
It was during this time that I noticed the tingling and numbness in my limbs had improved, even though I continued to experience an overall loss of strength. For instance, I would need two hands just to pull dishes out of the cupboard or my legs would become very weak if I walked to far or did any kind of climbing, however the Methotrexate was suppressing my immune system enough to keep my blood work close to normal. This held true for the remainder of 2009 and almost all of 2010. I was displaced from my job in January of 2010, so with the decreased workload, and time to catch up on my sleep, I felt as though I had found some degree of normalcy. I was taking Real Estate Classes and excited about a change in my career. Late April I endured the loss of one of my brothers. This was difficult as he passed away in a very tragic way. I found the medications I was on and the time off of work to actually be a blessing during this time, as I was able to deal with this loss as I clung to my faith. I focused on myself emotionally and considered it a blessing my physical symptoms were improved.
2011- I began to have some doubts again in January of 2011. I was trying very hard to workout and do strength training regularly, but noticed just like the physical therapy program I completed my pain and fatigue started to increase again. My husband had now accepted a deployment to Alabama, so this meant following up with a different Rheumatologist with the change in our health insurance. I was still feeling measurable improvements in the tingling and numbness of my hands and feet, but because there was increased pain and fatigue I began to believe there was something again going wrong. Also, I was having increased problems with my eyes. They would burn and feel tired almost everyday. I too noticed that the occasional vertigo symptoms I had been having for so long were now occurring when/if I moved my head too quickly. It made me nauseous and I began to feel nervous about driving my car. When my blood was drawn it once again showed an elevated WBC, along with HIGH ranges in my AST, ALT, CPK and Aldolase levels. All indicators that muscle damage was again occurring. "Not again" I cried to myself. Would I just have to keep increasing the doses of my medications I wondered? I felt so discouraged when the Rheumatologist decided against IVIg infusions, while telling me that I would most likely be on medications for the rest of my life. Adding back Prednisone and adjusting the dose when needed. NO! He told me I should feel lucky I wasn’t on low doses of Prednisone all the time! That many patients in his practice were on a much higher, regular dose of Prednisone for Polymyositis. Trust me when I tell you that Prednisone makes me swell up like a balloon! ...But then again, vanity had begun to take a back seat to my multi-system/multi-symptom crazy life…
I had asked so many Doctors so many times WHAT could have caused this? I trusted them to know! Researching I had looked at viruses, immunotherapy treatments, and even the possibility it was something in my environment/home as the potential causes. I had suggested my "breast implants" as being the reason! And was assured by all of my doctors that there was "no evidence or causal link to support illness or autoimmune disorders as a result of breast implants." That they were "safe" and could last a lifetime. This once again had me surfing the internet for answers. Trying to find some rhyme or reason for all I was going through. Somewhere in the back of my mind I just didn’t WANT to accept the fact I was going to have to live with this illness/disease for the rest of my life, and potentially get sicker and sicker and just keep adding more medication to control my symptoms. Something deep inside me told me to keep looking…
THE GAME CHANGER!
I just couldn’t believe my eyes. I came across a forum that was for women needing support for breast implant issues. I must have sat there for three days reading one story after another of women going through the same health issues as myself. Women who had developed autoimmune diseases and strange medical symptoms after they had gotten their breast implants. I was SHOCKED! I had asked each and every one of my trusted Dr's, and there were many, and not one of them saw a risk or an association of my symptoms to my breast implants and suggest they be removed. Now I was literally reading story after story of strange mutli-system/multi-symptom illnesses that were seemingly connected. You could just read the desperation and hopelessness in each of the women's stories as they describe going from one doctor to another, only to leave with more unanswered questions, more frustrated, still in pain, and left to question their own mental stability! All while trying so hard to just find someone who would actually listen and really try to help them. Doctor! Are you listening to me!?!
All of a sudden everything became so clear. Those seemingly "UNCONNECTED SYMPTOMS" that had developed and multiplied for eight long years could possibly be a result of my breast implants. I had no idea that I was putting my health at risk or what I was about to put my body through back in 2003. I thought I was making the “SMART” decision going with Saline implants. I had heard about the risks associated with ruptured Silicone, but Saline, wasn’t that just salt water? There was no data or clinical studies from the manufacturer or medical field to tell me that the outer, textured, silicone shell could flake off and migrate through my body! Or that the saline inside my implants could contain mold or fungus like seen in waterbeds! My surgeon never ran any tests to find out if I was genetically predisposed to having a reaction to silicone being placed into my body or I had some genetic HLA genotype that increased my susceptibility to react to the chemicals! I had no idea that my already compromised immune system could begin attacking itself when I wasn’t able to break down the silicone from inside my cells. The implants had been approved by the FDA, and were being presented to me as a “safe alternative" to silicone gel implants. I relied on the manufacturer, regulatory agencies to approve a safe product, and also on the surgeon to know if I was a good candidate for this surgery. Was I really the one who should have KNOWN better?!
But, In the words of one of my forum members, “I loved my breast implants, until I realized they were trying to kill me!”
3/03/11 Explantation scheduled!
Thank goodness for that light bulb that went off in my head. It didn’t take me long to find a PS who could explant me. I scheduled my surgery for two weeks later. I was explanted by Dr. Susan Kolb in Atlanta GA. She has done extensive work in this area, and I wanted to make sure my surgery was done properly the first time. With regard to Implant Illness it is very important to make sure that the entire scar capsule is removed along with the implants. Scar capsules can contain Silicone, and if not removed properly, the chemicals can still leak and migrate inside the body. Many women who I have read about that remained ill after explanting had to have yet another surgery just to remove the scar capsules which were left behind. Only then did their bodies begin to start healing and their symptoms start to go away. I will never forget the look on my husbands face as I declared, "Yes! I want these poison balls out of my body! I don't CARE what I will look like! I'm sick."
Along with my breast implants, I had seven sore and swollen Axillary lymph nodes removed. There is clinical data now from the FDA that supports the fact that breast implant patients are at an increased risk for developing a rare Lymphoma Cancer. This is based on “known” cases of course. Many women have already died from this, which of course were not tallied in with the totals. Based on my pathology report I learned that there was no cancer present. With high WBC counts and increased Sed-rates since 2006, for which I had been seen by Hemotology for, having them removed did gave me some additional peace of mind. And yes, my husband has been very supportive. He had watched my health decline steadily over the past eight years. Never knowing if I was just being a hypochondriac or if we were going to find some life threatening disease. At times he would say, “I just want my wife back,” and there was no doubt I just wanted my LIFE back. I didn’t really care how big I was when the implants were removed. I just wanted those poison balls out of my body, and to one day be healthy again. I knew there was already some asymmetry to my breasts and lost volume so I requested that the surgeon just make them the same size even if it meant removing healthy breast tissue from one side. I wasn’t about to deal with pads or bras to make me look even. I wanted a no fuss result no matter how small they may be. I also chose a Benelli lift in an effort to minimize scars. I was already living with this mistake. I didn’t really want to look at constant reminder of it for the rest of my life. Although, maybe that would have been smart.
The surgery went well. No complications. Five hours with two PS working on me. Dr. Kolb did say that it took a great deal of time covering all the surface area given the texture on my implants, and making sure all the scar capsule had been removed properly. She also mentioned that my right lymph nodes just crumbled when they were removed! It was difficult for her to count how many had been dissected, but my surgical report later noted seven total from both sides. One of the things I noticed immediately after surgery was that my breathing felt clearer. I was able to take in a good deep breaths. I was in a bit of pain, but the Demoral worked quickly to minimize my discomfort. Now I am no hero. Give me pain meds before I need them I instructed my daughter. I wanted to sleep and be pain free as much as possible. Secretly, I kinda felt like I had earned it!
Aesthetically, I have to admit, I was very happy with my results. What a wonderful blessing considering all I had been through and not knowing WHAT to expect. Surgically, I could not have asked for anything better. I was even once again, had a youthful shape, and with way more volume than I had expected. But the best part of all? I felt NATURAL again! It was wonderful to know that the PS’s who worked on me did their very best and I should never need to go through another voluntary surgery again as long as I live! That this was the beginning step I needed to get my over worked, confused, and tired immune system working for me once again. I had eliminated the source of my illness and now I just needed to help my body heal.
TODAY I am taking one day at a time. I am no longer on Methotrexate, Prednisone or Vicoden. It has been only two months now, and although I battled through some hives around the “one month mark” my health has significantly improved. My fatigue has improved to the point I rarely need a nap anymore. My pain has gotten so much better that I only need Tylenol for some occasional flares. The pain and tingling in my hands and feet are almost completely gone. I have only noticed one time since my explant when I felt some tingling on my scalp. The thing I would call "REMARKABLE!" is the decrease in symptoms of vertigo or dizziness when I move my head. I am able to drive! And although my eyes still get tired, they are not burning or blurring my vision anymore. I can type, read, and write again! This is all so amazing given the short amount of time since my explant. On a side note, I had failed the neurological eye exam with both my eyes prior to my explant surgery ( See Contrast Eye test above). Today I retook the test and passed with flying colors! The only thing that has changed in my life is that those poison balls are OUT of my chest and I am on less MEDS! Truly unbelievable.
I do still have some difficulty with my short-term memory, and experience a blank feeling sometimes when I am trying to find the right words to say. Whether it is when I read or write I sometimes kind of stutter in my thoughts, although I am happing to mention this too is improving with each new day. The night sweats are much better as well. I am working hard to minimize my allergy symptoms and to avoid the foods I am not suppose to eat now. A recent allergy test did note increased food sensitivities along with an abnormal IgA results. I will retest again soon. This isn’t always easy, but I am eating healthier and taking supplements to help me detoxify and keep my lymphatic system moving. Most recently I have been referred to an “Endocrinologist” for some abnormal lab results. I expect they will find a compromised thyroid or Adrenal gland like so many other women before me. With low ACTH and Cortisol levels they will most likely want to treat me for Hypopituitarism. What next!!! However, I am so thankful for all of the stories, and the wisdom and guidance from my implant support group. If not for them I may never have found the source of my illness. The answers are out there, so when you get that feeling deep inside your head that something isn't right, just keep looking and LISTEN to your body. You WILL find your way...
I just pray that in telling my story I will be able to help just one person begin their journey toward recovery and maybe even help another to reconsider their choice to implant. Proper research needs to be done to identify those individual with at an increase health risk for a reaction to Silicone and the other chemicals inside the implants. I appeal to anyone who has been affected by implant illness to open up and share your story along with me! We all make decisions in life, whether they are right or wrong for us, I am not ashamed of it and neither should you be. No one has the right to judge another, so hold your head high and STAND IN THE RAIN!
THANK YOU to all my family & friends who have wondered what the heck was going on with me all these years. Well now you know the whole story, the reason for the changes in my health, my changes physically and emotionally, and for my lack of overall energy to just live life with you! Forgive me for not being able to give more. It has all been so hard and yet I have learned so much. It would be a shame to change it. Thank you for being there for me if only to listen to me complain, and repeat the same darn frustrations over and over to you. Thank you for all your prayers and for Heavenly Father who knew my journey before I did and prepared a way for me to find my health again. I have felt his guiding hand and love the entire way…I am so blessed as my journey continues…
Please choose FOLLOW if you would like to stay connected to my story and for updates. Also, please add a COMMENT if you share my experience or to just let me know you are still out there for me. Your understanding and support is very much appreciated. HUGS to you ALL!!!!!
